Cellulite IS.

When even teenytiny starlets are ‘dimpled’ – despite their ability and motivation to throw endless cash at endless liposuction, creams, super-dooper marine mud goop treatments, pummelling or detoxing and whatever other arcane hoodoo has been most recently dreamt up by savvy snake-oil sellers – it is time to accept the inevitability of cellulite.

Birth. Death. Taxes. Cellulite.

Cellulite IS.

Forgive me for quoting Wikipedia; I shall do penance for my sins:

Practically all post-pubescent females display some degree of cellulite.

Oh wait. What was that?

The presence of flesh with “an orange peel appearance” does not indicate a “disorder” caused by lack of circulation or toxins or being fat or whatever the fuck is flavour of the month with marketing execs and beauty therapists.

No, it’s fucking natural to have cellulite. It’s NORMAL.

From Wikipedia again:

Numerous therapies have been tried. There are no published reports in the scientific literature showing that any of these therapies work.

Giving our female flesh a medical mumbo-jumbo name and a calling it a disorder is simply a self-perpetuating vicious circle of a marketing strategy.

Cellulite is a fact of life. Get the fuck over it.


15 Responses to “Cellulite IS.”

  1. 1 vesta44 Tuesday, 29 April 2008 at 3:59 am

    Hey now, if fat can be a disease, why can’t they label cellulite a disease? I’m getting really tired of every “thing” that keeps a woman from reaching “perfection” being labeled a disease. Obesity, cellulite, aging, all are getting labeled as diseases instead of what they really are: conditions of life that hit people in spite of everything they do to prevent them.
    Perfection isn’t all it’s cracked up to be, and I don’t have time to seek it, I’m too busy living, and enjoying, my life on the way to my death (which is sure as hell going to happen).

  2. 2 Sal Tuesday, 29 April 2008 at 4:49 am

    You know what I’ve realized about “cellulite?”

    It seems to be related to estrogen, so most normal women of child-bearing age will have it.

    I say this, because I am post-menopausal, and my thighs are much smoother than they used to be!

    But of course, if something is a normal female condition, it must be bad, right??

  3. 3 Mercy Tuesday, 29 April 2008 at 5:10 am

    This is why I never got happy at the Dove Real Beauty campaign… the first thing I saw it advertising was an anti-cellulite cream!

  4. 4 cynth Tuesday, 29 April 2008 at 6:51 am

    Lots of folks find my website by searching for “cellulite cures”. I can always hope that acceptance is the “cure” they choose in the end :)

  5. 5 Fatadelic Tuesday, 29 April 2008 at 9:26 am

    Vesta, ain’t that the truth.

    Sal, Repeat after me: “The female is aberrant. Only the male is normal. Therefore everything of or relating to the female is bad.” Thousands of years of patriarchy have reinforced this lesson so well that we do not even blink about it unless we think about it.

    Mercy, same. They haven’t accepted ‘real beauty’ if they are still defining natural flesh as bad.

    Cynth, that’s partly the inspiration for my post – too many people finding this site through ‘cellulite’, though lord knows when I’ve posted about it before.

  6. 6 Bri Tuesday, 29 April 2008 at 10:17 am

    Geez if Kate Moss can have cellulite (which she does) then what hope does anyone have of avoiding it?! I have to say, strangely enough, I have never had a hang up about my cellulite. My fat yes, but not the orange peel bits. I will have to ponder more as to why that is/was…

  7. 7 Gretchen Wednesday, 30 April 2008 at 2:23 am

    I was thinking about this post last night, and I thought “Hey, if cellulite is because of fat, men should get it too, right?” So I asked my (fat) boyfriend, “Do men get cellulite?” And his response just made my night:

    “What is that? Some sort of medical thing?”

    He honestly had no idea what cellulite is. And when I tried to explain it, he still seemed pretty confused, even though my body is a pretty good object lesson. Which means that it’s never even occurred to him that parts of my body are lumpier than others – they’re just my body.

    And really, anyone who’s seeing enough of my body outside of a swimming pool to know that I’ve got cellulite had better be concerned with more important things, like how they’re going to cover me in kisses or things like that :)

  8. 8 Deborah Thursday, 1 May 2008 at 12:30 am

    Cellulite is inherited. Some have more than others. Dr. Oz explains the theory behind cellulite. Drinking lots of water, avoiding high sodium foods and exercise will improve cellulite, but there is no product or machine that can change it.

  9. 9 Fatadelic Thursday, 1 May 2008 at 9:16 am

    Deborah, indeed. The question is why do we care about reducing the appearance of cellulite when it is simply a fact of life? Sigh. Something inevitable and natural has been demonised in order to sell products – kinda like ‘signs of aging’ AKA wrinkles.

  10. 10 Bayrak Thursday, 1 May 2008 at 1:55 pm

    do you know any information about this subject in other languages?

  11. 11 cuddlynn Friday, 2 May 2008 at 4:22 am

    People want to omit everything that implies imperfection, and will take measures they believe will allow them to escape things like aging.

    Life moves on, people change, bodies change. Accept it, people!

  12. 12 Isabel Tuesday, 13 May 2008 at 7:32 pm

    In fact, cellullite didn’t even exist until swimsuits stopped covering the ass fully. If you see movies from the sixties or seventies, all women in bikini have what is called cellullite. If you pinch your own shoulder or even low arm, you’ll see whatever fat you have accumulating in little bags like lentils.

    Women accumulate fat in little bulges. The shape of lentils or M&Ms, but in little bulges. To NOT have cellullite, the only thing you can do is BORN AGAIN. With XY chromosomes next time.

    What I hate about this cellullite stuff is they are making me hate my body. I am happily married (after 9 years of relationship), and my husband is more desirous of my body each day. When we started dating, I was thin, small-breasted and with no belly. Now I am plump, big breasted, big hipped, with a belly. I think I was prettier back then. My husband says “You look so much better now, with such curves and gorgeous breasts”.

    Well, something in my enviroment is badly wrong. If I am loved and my husband has explicitly said that he likes my body BETTER than it was, why the hell do I feel the need to be slim again?

    And what’s worse, I feel the need to be slim AND big breasted. I love my breasts now. I hate the feeling, because if I’m on diet I feel bad and if I’m not I feel bad too. Society wants me to be a broomstick with huge breasts, and I just can’t. Nobody can… The only solution is starve yourself until you get like a stick and fill with silicone to keep the curves. But that’s ridiculous, why can’t society accept our curves just as they are?

    I just hate it. I’m glad I found somewhere where I can talk about it.

  13. 13 Isabel Tuesday, 13 May 2008 at 7:42 pm

    By the way… Even the word “cellulite” is wrong. Etymologically, it comes from “cell” and the greek suffix “itis”, which means “swell”. So, it means “cell swell”, which it is NOT. Our cells are not swollen. We just accumulate fat in a different way. Even the name is wrong, it’s not cellulite, it’s “female body shape”. Urgh.

    The worst thing is that they are trying to make it look unnatural and wrong. When, even with the best of bodies, as long as you have two ounzes of fat, they will accumulate in little bags. That’s how it is.

    Something I also hate is I am thinner than any of my grandmothers ever were. But both my grandmothers were considered to be gorgeous, yet I am fat according to nowadays’ standards.

  14. 14 Natalie Wednesday, 30 July 2008 at 12:38 am

    100% gold. I love the jiggle in my wiggle and the lumps in my rump. And anyone who doesn’t can go to hell. :)

  1. 1 Me. My Body. « Fatadelic Trackback on Thursday, 16 October 2008 at 11:02 pm

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