We’ve all heard of Mommy* Drive-bys**, right? You know, perfect strangers who feel compelled to comment on your parenting skills (or lack of them) or offer unsolicited parenting advice.
There has been an abundance of trollitude flying around the Fatosphere in the wake of the NYT and ABC articles (and no doubt we are seeing only a small fraction of the tromments thanks to well managed moderation at the affected sites). But the predictable sledging and fat-hate bingo got me thinking.
What about Fatty Drive-bys? Whether it comes from Aunty Fran who weighs 50kg soaking wet or from the concerned citizen peering disapprovingly into your trolley at the supermarket, we’ve all had them; unsolicited comments on your body, your diet, your health or your clothing.
So I want to know who has done it to you and how? And what are some great comebacks that you’ve delivered (or wish you had delivered in hindsight).
A couple of my most memorable drive-bys are below, though of course there have been countless others.
2 years ago, walking down the street to the bus, wearing my suede patch mini-skirt.
A truckdriver leant out the driver window and yelled “Look at the size of that arse! Jesus, it’s the size of a bus” and to which I replied”Look at the size of your dick. Jesus, it’s the size of my pinky.” A predictable response perhaps, but you have to admit that he practically handed my come-back to me on a platter.
Around [CENSORED]years ago when I was 19 or 20, travelling home from uni by train in a mostly empty carriage.
An old man sat beside me (strange, I thought) and proceeded to tell me in the most concerned tone of voice possible “You know, you’re a BIG girl. Yes, you are. But you are VERY pretty. And you could be STUNNING if you lost a bit of weight” (how creepy, right?). And I managed “Oh, shit! Really? But I was a size eight just this morning? What the hell happened?”. The poor guy looked mortally offended that his ‘concern’ had produced such a strong reaction.
* It feels REALLY weird, as an Australian, to type ‘mommy’ rather than ‘mummy’.
** ‘Drive-bys’ has to be the plural of ‘drive-by’, right? Help! At least I don’t have a stray apostrophe.