Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!

I know noone reads this blog anymore – my fault for not posting. But shit has been happening. Shit so huge, I don’t know how to dig out of the shit pile. For starters, my mum, my beautiful, wonderful mum is now rapidly dying of bone cancer and liver cancer secondary to her breast cancer. It’s all happening so fast.

You see, in July last year, she was given the ‘all clear’ after a body scan, but her bastard of a cancer is so aggressive. By September, she was complaining of back pain, which the doctor treated as muscular. By December, the pain was severe, so he sent her to a chiropractor. By January, she couldn’t sit up without pain and found it hard to work, sit or stand or even lie down. In February, the doctor FINALLY sent her for a bone scan. It showed Bony Metastases to the skull, ribs, pelvis, spine and legs. How’s that for ‘all clear’? In March she started radiotherapy, for pain relief – which she didn’t get until right in the last week. She was drowsy, incoherent and confused, but that was put down to the morphine she was on.

A week ago, she saw her oncologist, who suggested she be routinely hospitalised on the coming Monday for further tests – she ended up being ambulanced to hospital that evening (last Friday). Her confusion was so bad, she couldn’t remember her name or date of birth – and that was in her clearer moments. So, oncologist suspected something is up with the liver. Runs bloodwork, gives laculose (a vile syrup that not only assists with removing toxins when liver levels are through the rough, but gives massive and disgusting diaroeah), and vitamin k injections. At this stage (Monday, Tues) she was somewhat mobile and could be assisted to the toilet on the commode chair. But it rapidly got to the point where she was unable to move, and she became incontinent with urine and the god-awful diareah caused by that shitty syrup.

We waited all week for the results of first the abdominal ultra-sound (inconclusive, could indicate cancer has spread to liver) then the CT scan of the abdomen, chest and pelvis. We got that yesterday. It has spread.

Basically, the doctor told mum that it was “a crook situation’, and let her know, without putting a time limit on it, that she needed to prepare for the end, although they would do all they can to prolong her life. Privately, he told Dad and I that she could die within 1 week to 1 month, and he doesn’t expect her to live much longer than that. Because of liver damage, she can’t be given chemo, but she can be given a modified does of Heperin, which is given intravenously once every 3 weeks. I am not sure what benefit he wants to get from that, whether it could potentially prolong her life a little, or whether it is purely pallative. We need to ask that question.

Oh, and did I mention she is having difficulty breathing, even on oxygen? The oncologist wants to send her for a chesk CTPA(???) to check that out.

So basically, it’s FUCKED. We’ve started calling in close family and friends to see her and be with her and try and make her last days meaningful.

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March 2006
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