Warning Bells

Suffice to say, I have been putting too much energy into work and other people’s needs, and not looking after myself and my own needs. Last week and this week have proved to me that I still need to pace myself; that I do still have depression, even though it is not affecting me as badly as it used to.

To use (and stretch) a bad metaphor, I am still walking along a cliff-top with a sheer drop into a bottomless abyss. This week I stumbled, and have been dangling from the edge supported only by a tuft of grass in my fist. Thankfully, I have not yet fallen. But it’s close. Sigh…

Between failing presentation equipment in the less-than-6-month old (supposedly state-of-the-art) Seminar Room, critical bitches on my case left, right and centre, misunderstandings with Receptionists (yes, multiple misunderstandings with multiple Receptionsists), being hauled over the coals (for something I didn’t do) by the over-zealous team-leader, money concerns, trying to ‘be there’ and be positive for my depressed friend when I am going through depressive shit myself, and drama with the business cards I was getting made up for my parents…

Well, let’s just say that I am more than ready to have my 3 weeks off. But even my time off will not exactly be leisure time. I am, in fact, taking leave to help John coordinate a photo-shoot that will form a major part of his artwork.


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October 2002
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