How can this happen?

How can it happen in this day and age for police to be called out to a domestic violence incident and then walk away without making an arrest because the man lies and tries to divert attention from his actions?

That’s what happened yesterday to my sister. She was viciously assaulted by her husband (in front of her 3.5 year old and nearly 2 year old), prevented from ringing the police by him unplugging the home phone and throwing her mobile phone on to the roof, prevented from leaving by his throwing her purse and keys onto the roof. When she finally managed to call the police from the home phone, he threw her against a bookcase and she hit her head. He also when they were outside pushed her violnently to the concrete where she hit her head badly. She managed to get up and push him away into the fence and then the police turn up.

My sister was suffering amnesia and confusion from, not suprisingly, concussion – so she couldn’t remember what happened to tell the police. You would think that would ring alarm bells with the police, wouldn’t you? Really, wouldn’t you?

But no. They listen to my fuck-wad of a brother-in-law who tells them only that my sister pushed him into the fence (and not that it was her doing it in self defence). And he told them that she was “off her medication”. Anti-fucking-depressants for Post-Natal Depression. She gave birth nearly 2 years ago. Off her medications, give me a break. Ooh, she’s a dangerous psycho and must just be making trouble for the poor man. Fuck off.

So what do the police do? Not arrest the fucker. Not clue into the fact that my sister could be is brain injured. Oh, no. They believe his obfuscations and leave. Oh, and they gave her a card and said she could call if she wanted to. And left her there with him.

Apparently he eventually got her keys and purse etc down from the roof. So my sister left to go to a friends.

It seems the police turning up calmed him down enough to do that. But my question is: What if he hadn’t? What if, after they had left, the situation had escalated? Where the fuck was their duty of care?

But she was confused and dizzy all night. I wanted her to go to emergency last night to get checked out, but she wouldn’t listen to me. Dad got there this morning and has taken her to the hospital now. She is being treated for concussion and checked for skull and spine injuries.

I will be heading up later. We will be going to the police and charging the motherfucker and getting an AVO.

But really, what the fuck was wrong with the officers who attended last night? Do they have no training in DV? Do they not know how to assess a person’s basic medical condition? Do they have no fucking idea about basic mental health issues that they think a mother who once suffered post-natal depression is unreliable and unstable? Do they have no idea that men who commit DV will lie and obfuscate and divert attention from themselves?

I want to scream at the police officer who left my sister without medical attention and in a potentially dangerous situation with her husband. I want to charge down to the police station and ask what their god damned DV policy is, because last I heard police had a duty of care when called out to DV incidents.

But of course I won’t, because that will not help my sister’s situation at all.

We will support her when she makes her statement. And we will support her when she, as she says she is going to, leaves the cunt who did this to her.ent

Diamonds and Roses

From Instructions by Neil Gaiman:

Do not be jealous of your sister.
Know that diamonds and roses
are as uncomfortable when they tumble from
one’s lips as toads and frogs:
colder, too, and sharper, and they cut.

A Stepford Moment

I am not the most domestic of people, but I seem to have have had a Stepford weekend. First I baked and iced batches and batches of cupcakes for my niece’s birthday party, then I spend the rest of the weekend doing mad things like cleaning out all the cupboards in the kitchen and washing everything in them. Next thing you know I’ll be accosting random strangers and foisting homemade marmalade and tomato relish on them. Or, worse, actually enjoying doing the vacuuming. Save me, please!

Nevertheless, I am quite pleased with the somewhat rustic result with the cupcakes.

Happy 2008

And a big goodbye to 2007.

2007 has been a rough year and so 2008 just has to be better. (I said that at the end of 2006, too. And you may not believe it after reading below, but 2007 actually was an improvement on 2006. Really.).

Here’s my stab at summing up the past year for the Mayfly Project (sum up your year in exactly 24 words):

John starts home dialysis. Nephew born day after first anniversary of Mum’s death. Infertility issues. Stopped speaking to stepfather. Work dramas. Depression strikes again.

Real Life Sparkle Motion

Yesterday I went to my niece Ruby’s dance school performance. She’s only 2.5 years old, and has always (always, from the day she was born) loved movement and music so she absolutely loves her Tiny Tots dance classes even though she’s the youngest one in it (I think the next youngest is 3). My sister wasn’t so sure she was old enough to be in the performance, but was convinced to let Ruby do it. Just for the fun, no pressure. They were sooo unbelievably cute – forgetting the steps and waving to Mummy – but they all had a ball. The dance teacher didn’t really consider the littlies with scheduling, though, and they had 2 performances in the first half and another 2 right at the end of the 2nd half, so they were all a little fractious and tired by that point. Hayley decided to pull Ruby out of the second half, which was just as well, I think.

But the main reason I wanted to blog about this dance school performance is that it was far more fat positive than I thought it would be and blew the stereotype of whip-thin dancers to bits. (Yay!)