Why it’s all a bit too much right now.

This is why I am a bit silent on the blogging front:

1. My hours have been cut and my pay with it – and there is a real risk of further job cuts
2. John’s health is precarious, as he has some complications related to his kidney disease, and he cannot work full time.
3. Financially struggling with basics like rent, food and medications. We have long since used up any ‘safety net’ we once had.
4. The house we rent is on the market, and we may have to move in the next 4-6 weeks. As the people inspecting the property seem to be mainly first home buyers, I think moving is pretty much a certainty.
5. My sister recently recovered memories of early childhood rape by a creepy uncle. Since he also abused me (although not to this degree), it’s somewhat triggering. I want to kill the cunt.
6. My step-father is terminally ill with brain cancer. He’s had surgery, but it’s not good. He’s deciding whether to cease treatment or not. (You may remember that I was estranged from him for various reasons. Of course, I’ve put grievances aside, and am there for him. )
7. Depression is once again rearing it’s ugly head. Not suprising considering the situational triggers.

Yes, I know this is a whingy, whiny, poor me post. My mother would have told me to be grateful for what I have. And she would have been right.

Blessings:

1. John
2. My cats
3. We aren’t on the street (yet!)
4. I still have a job
5. Family
6. The depression is still currently moderate, and I have managed to get through A LOT without falling into a non-functional void.

Wow!

I’m not exactly used to feeling “good” (see Depression).

I normally self treat with aromatherapy, but my normal blend hasn’t been doing much for me recently (I’ve been going through a rough patch with the D), so I decided to play around and make myself a new spritz:

5 Positives

To stop me spiralling down (the Depression has been raising its ugly head again in recent weeks) I thought I’d post 5 positives:

• My three cats are beautiful and purry. (We won’t mention moulting and whinging).
• We are starting to be able to dig ourselves out of our financial black-hole.
• I only have 6 months until I qualify for long-service leave.
• Which means only 6 months to go before I can put my escape plan into effect from this toxic job and cash the leave in when I go.
• Its Friday tomorrow today! Weekend, here I come.

Fat and Physicians – my own experiences

Inspired by Shapely Prose’s initiative: the First Do No Harm blog, I am re-posting an entry from my old blog which covered some of my own experiences of medical discrimination against fat people. Each of these experiences left me emotionally shattered, shamed and distrustful of doctors. Thankfully, I now have a GP who has never mentioned my weight.

Protected: a last kick

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