If Hamlet were written by Dr Seuss....

from Green Eggs and Hamlet

I ask to be, or not to be.
That is the question, I ask of me.
This sullied life, it makes me shudder.
My uncle is boffing my dear, sweet mother.
Would I, could I take my life?
Could I, should I end this strife?
Should I jump out of a plane?
Or throw myself in front of a train?
Should I from a cliff just leap?
Could I put myself to sleep?

Shoot myself, or take some poison?

Maybe try self immolation?
To shudder off this mortal coil,
I could stab myself with a fencing foil.
Should I slash my wrists while in the bath?
Would it help to end my angst and wrath?
To sleep, to dream, now there’s the rub.
I could drop an appliance into my tub.